Darwin’s Paradox

In my last post, I concentrated on characters. Moving on to language, here are five things that I guarantee will improve your story:  

1.      Voice: This is the feel, tone that applies to the overall book (narrative voice) and to each character. The overall voice is dictated by your audience, who you’re writing for: youth, adults, etc. It’s important to give each character a distinctive “voice” (including use of distinct vernacular, use of specific expressions or phrases, etc.). This is one way a reader can identify a character and find them likeable—or not. In a manuscript I recently reviewed, I noticed that the characters spoke in a mixture of formal and casual speech. This confuses the reader and bumps them out of the “fictive dream”. Consistency is very important for readers. They will abandon a story whose writing is not consistent. So, my advice to this writer was to pick one style for each character and stick to it. Voice includes what a character says. It incorporates language (both speech and body movements), philosophy, humor. How a character looks, walks, talks, laughs, is all part of this. Do any of your characters have conflicts with one another? Either through differences in opinions, agendas, fears, ambitions… etc. One learns so much from the kind of interaction a character has with his/her surroundings (whether it’s another character or a scene)

2.      Point of View (POV): Many beginner’s novels are often told through no particular POV. It can be described as being in the omniscient POV (that of the narrator) and ever so often may lapse into one of the character’s POV briefly. This makes for very “telling vs showing” type of writing (not to mention being inconsistent again). 90% of writers do not write this way because it tends to be off-putting, it distances the reader from the characters, and is very difficult to achieve and be consistent with. Most writers prefer to use limited third person POV (told from one or a few key characters; that is, you get into the head and thoughts of only a few people: all the observations are told through their observations, what they see, feel and think). This bonds the reader to your characters and makes for much more compelling reading. I would highly suggest you adopt this style. That’s not to say that you can’t use several POVs… just not at the same time; it is the norm to use chapter or section breaks to change a POV.

3.      Passive vs. Active Verbs: most beginners use a lot of passive verbs (e.g., were, was, being, etc.). Some use too may modifiers. Try to find more active verbs. Many writers fall into the pattern of using verbs that are weak and passive (and then adding a modifier to strengthen it…it doesn’t). Actively look for strong, vivid verbs. This is a key to good writing. I can’t emphasize this enough.

4.      Show, don’t tell: this is partly a function of POV. Once you change to third person, much of this will naturally resolve itself. An example of telling vs. showing is this: [He was in a rage and felt betrayed. “You lied, Clara,” he said angrily, grabbing her hand.] instead, you could show it: [His face smoldered. “You lied, Clara,” he roared, lunging for her.] Telling also includes large sections of exposition, either in dialogue or in narrative. This happens a lot in beginning writer’s stories. It takes courage and confidence to say less and let the reader figure it out. Exposition needs to be broken up and appear in the right place as part of the story. Story is paramount. “Telling” is one of the things beginning writers do most and editors will know you for one right away.  Think of the story as a journey for both writer and reader. The writer makes a promise to the reader that s/he will provide a rip-roaring story and the reader comes on side, all excited. This is done through a confident tease in the beginning and slow revelation throughout the story to keep it compelling.

5.      Unclutter your writing: There is a Mennonite adage that applies to writing: “less is more”. Sentences in early works tend to be full of extra words (e.g., using “ing” verbs, add-ons like “he started to think” instead of simply “he thought”). Cut down the words in your paragraphs (often in the intro chapters) by at least 20%. Be merciless; you won’t miss them, believe me, and you will add others later in your second round of edits.

So, I’d like to share what I’ve learned over the years. This will come to you in three parts: 1) characters; 2) language; and 3) structure.

Let’s start with characters, since they are, in my opinion, the most important part of the novel. Characters carry the theme of the book. Each characters needs to have a role in advancing the plot and/or overall theme; each character needs a reason to be there. A character therefore needs to be distinctive and usually shows some character development or story arc (i.e., they change) from beginning to end of story. Your characters are the most important part of your book (more so than the plot or premise). Through them your book lives and breathes. Through them your premise, your plot (which is essentially just a way to create problems for your characters to live out their development) and story come alive. Through them you achieve empathy and commitment from the reader and his/her willingness to keep reading to find out what’s going to happen next.  And this is equally important in any genre and style of book, whether it is a thriller, action adventure, romance, detective story or literary fiction. If the reader doesn’t invest in the characters, they won’t really care what happens next.

Characters need to be real. They come to life by giving them individual traits and real weaknesses and heroic qualities that are consistent and which readers can recognize and empathize with. Weaknesses or “bad” traits are most important to give to your “good” characters. Not only does this make them more well-rounded and compelling but it heightens tension and investment of the reader (hoping they will overcome them). Something many authors do with their main characters (particularly in action adventure and thriller stories) is to give their main character a weakness that actually ends up being a strength in the situation they have created in the book (e.g., a misfit whose proclivity to be an individualist helps him become a leader in a calamity). You play these traits against each other to achieve drama. For instance, a man who is afraid of heights but who must scale a mountain to save his love is far more compelling than one who is not; a military man who fears responsiblity but must lead his team into battle; a scientist who is afraid of success, discovers a cure to a disease, etc.

Often, characters of beginning writers suffer from lack of distinction, purpose and often simply clutter up a story. For a character to “come alive” their “voice” must be unique. Give them distinctive body movements, dress, facial features and expressions that reveal character, inner feelings, emotions, fears, motivations, etc. Then keep them consistent. There are several techniques writers use to increase empathy for a character and make them stand out from the rest. This includes use of third person POV, keeping the story with focus on fewer rather than many characters, creating character dossiers and keeping them consistent, providing each character a distinctive “voice” (figuratively) as in how they behave, react, walk, etc. Another way to make your characters distinct (and works to also tie into plot and theme) is to make your characters not get along. Make them argue, disagree (at least!), have suspicions, betray one another, laugh and ridicule. By doing this, you increase tension, conflict (two things every book requires) and you enlighten the reader into each of the characters involved. Make them fight or argue over what they believe in — or not. You need to describe your characters in effective brief but vivid language as the reader encounters them.

Here are some questions you need to ask about your characters:

 1. if I can remove the character, will the book fall apart? (if not, you don’t need that character; they aren’t fulfilling a role in the book);

2. how does the character portray the major or minor theme of the book? (that’s what characters are there for);

3. what is the role of the character? (e.g., protagonist, antagonist, mentor, catalyst, etc.);

4. what is the story arc of the character? Does he or she develop, change, do they learn something by the end? If not, they will be two-dimensional and less interesting;

5. what major obstacle(s) must the character overcome?

6. who are your major protagonist(s)– the main character who changes the most?

7. who are your major antagonist(s) — those who provide the most trouble for your protagonist, the source of conflict, tension, the obstacle(s);

8. what’s at stake: for the world (plot); for each individual (theme) and how do these tie together? Every character has a hole to fulfill in the plot and to other characters. Don’t be afraid to remove characters if they do not fulfill a role.

To summarize, each character is there for a purpose and this needs to be made apparent to the reader (intuitively through characterization, pointing out their failings, weaknesses, what they need to overcome, etc.). Make them bleed, hurt, cry, feel. This needs to be clear to the reader, who wants to empathise with some and hate others. How characters interact with their surroundings and with each other creates tension, a key element to good storytelling. Tension, of course, builds further into the additional conflict of protagonist with antagonists. In truth, it’s more fun to read about the tension from within a group that’s supposed to be together than those they are fighting against.  Think of Harry Potter and what was juicy there… It wasn’t really Voldemort… it was what went on at Hogwards between Harry and his friends and not-so-friends. That is what makes a story memorable; that is what makes a story something you can’t put down until you’ve finished it.

Hope this was useful to you. My next post on the beginning writer will be on language.